the Creative Thursday blog

my love for abstract unleashed

Since the beginning of the year I've been 'threatening' to explore and expand my painting style. And I've dabbled here and there, but something in the last couple of weeks has really clicked for me.

If you've followed my work since 2004, then you may recognize an echo of my earlier pieces. If you are most familiar with my present work, then you may be wondering 'wait, what? where are the characters?' {disclaimer: the characters are not gone. they will continue to make appearances, as I love painting them, still.}

When I started this business, it was challenge for me to believe in myself as an artist let alone a painter. Now that I've been in business and developed a style within my brand it's a challenge for me to break out. Ah, sometimes....I long for the day that this life as an artist and an entrepreneur feels predictable, even just for a short while? When will that happen. um never. I know. I know this isn't what I signed up for, predictability and certainty - not so much. And to be honest, I am also growing to love, well maybe not love, but like, accept and sometimes even appreciate the challenge. It's only taken 10 years.

Pushing creative ideas forward, that's why artists are here. We need them, and we need the challenges otherwise everything creative from art and design to movies and music would remain the same. And I, me, Marisa, an artist! need to be aware of when I'm keeping myself comfortable instead of innovating.

Even though it is uncomfortable for me to push the bounds in my work, in everything I do, not just painting. I know this is what I have to do. I know I will never be satisfied doing one thing only or creating in only one style or discipline for that matter. You know this about me. It's why I named my company 'Creative Thursday'. I knew from its very inception that the name of my business had to be an umbrella for all the creative outlets I would explore. 

And while the unknown of these choices still get to me on occasion, this is also the very reason this is all so EXCITING. And. The fun I had working on these - worth every bit of discomfort. And yes I know abstract painting is not in the least bit new or exclusive to me as a painter, no? And I'm probably not breaking any serious 'art ground' in this pieces. Good God no. But gaining confidence in this medium is new - for me. All the years of working with color in my various creative careers, combined with the past decade of focused painting are present in this developing style. Something completely unique to me, and my translation of abstract panting is happening; and now I've got to see where it wants to go.

{originals are available here}

 

the gatekeepers are gone

podcast #49 :: negotiating how you're perceived?

"let's dance"

A topic and a painting inspired by Kathleen Hannah featured in the documentary I shared in my last post, "The Punk Singer"

I realized when editing, that there is second topic included in this recording. How to turn frustration into change.

This episode runs approximately 13 minutes.

CT49 negotiating perception

To download the audio to your device with a Mac: click on the audio player above while also holding down the control key. A window will pop up with options to open in Itunes and download the mp3 etc. 

Thanks for chiming in on the last podcast. I really enjoy getting your thoughts on these topics.

last day {last e-course?} pulling myself out of the game

Just a quick post to let you know that today is the last day to register  and join us "In the Fish Bowl"

I've also been threatening that this may be the last e-course I run for a while, maybe ever.

Since the time I started speaking and teaching online the amount of people who are also teaching has grown exponentially. And while the majority of me loves this and believes that we all need not just one teacher but multiple at any given time, and how great is it that we can learn from so many different individuals willing to share what they've learned? another part of me becomes incredibly frustrated at the amount of what I like to call fakety-fake, fake, fake aka disingenous teaching that is happening. The amount of slick, razzmatazz presentations {for services, products and entertainment for that matter} that are being sold to people these days is disheartening. Related to online teaching specifically, the presentations seem to be selling the importance of getting a slice of this online landscape? quick! before it's all gone? maybe?! That by being online this is what is going to change your life forever. This is the thing that is going to help you fulfill your dream in its entirety. Well, it might, and it might not.  The idea that getting online is going to solve everything is not how it works. It's not as simple as that.

So what gives me the right to make these observations? Well having started my career in design literally the same year the internet became commercial, having failed online in a totally different business before this one and having succeeded online as a profitable artist in business for the past 8 years. These experiences gives me the right. That and the fact that I'm no longer questioning my gut. My feeling is you know when you know. You know when someone is smoke and mirrors. If you don't yet know, you'll learn how to recognize it.

What's a bummer in this situation is that when I see this saturation happening this is usually when I want to take myself out of the game. I don't want to be one in a huge crowd. In fact I don't care for crowds at all. It bothers me when I see everyone thinking and feeling the same, in agreement over what feel to me like surperficial ideas,  not because they're listening to themselves because they've bought into the ideas of one or a few voices are the loudest over all of the others. And today, it's fair to say that those voices are loud often for very manipulated reasons.

The cream rises to the top, I've heard it said many times. Yes, I believe it does. When you commit to creating excellent work and living with integrity to the best of your ability every day. I like to think this is the kind of cream that will rise to the top. But  in this world, particularly now due to the explosion of the internet landscape, it's seeming as if you have to wade through a whole lot of dairy to find the cream. Whoa, a lot of milk analogies there.

I don't have the desire or the energy to shout over all of these voices. I like to give it time, let it shake out and return when the haze has lifted and a more genuine group, with pure intentions remain. I feel this way with art, and the retail world too these days. 

Which is why I'm saying this may be the last "e-course" I teach for a while. I share this with you because many times people wait because they assume I will be back soon with another course. At the close of prior sessions, I have also made portions of the course material available as a download. I will not be doing that this time either. 

This group of participants is small and perfect for me to, even more than before, personalize my teaching for each individual, something I'm really excited about. So I would only to like to keep this session open for a few more. If you are on the fence or might feel intimidated, or scared at all, for any number of reasons, please don't. I promise you will feel welcome, seen, safe and supported.

I want to close by saying, I'm thankful to the voices out there who are not like me, who help me to discern and focus with more clarity how I want to express myself.  I also want to address that I'm aware that pulling myself out of the game may not be the best answer for someone {like me} who feels equally as passionate about sharing her voice as her art. I fully own that this can be a form of protection, a plan to keep myself safe by preventing possible rejection? I've given this a lot of thought and what I've decided is this: the possibility of rejection hurts me as much as the next person, but I'm braver than that. If I choose to make this my last e-course in this format it's because I believe that I may be discovering a way to share my voice in an entirely new format that speaks to me and inspires me the most at this point in my life, and creative journey. And this evolution, while scary and intimidating is a something I'm very excited about. I am also hopeful that it will be something you will benefit from and enjoy equally.

 

{painting featured above: "happy in my hood" 7" x 5"}

fish bowl 3 | sea change {registration is open}

 

If you receive my emails then you already know! 

I will be your mentor for a month.  My intent is that by sharing my experiences with you, I can make you money, save you time and worry while continuing to inspire and empower you to live a life you love, especially creatively. Sea Change :: a profound or notable transformation It's been several years since the last session of my e-course In the Fish Bowl :: Life as an Artist Online. With 2 books and 8 fabric collections behind me, and a brand new project and phase of my business ahead of me, it's time again to share everything new that I've learned, with you. I explain in the video above why I'm choosing to call this session 'Sea Change' Artists and entrepreneurs with all levels of creative experience are welcome, whether you are only considering a life as an artist, just beginning or have a business idea that hasn't worked in the way you hoped, or you have already been in business for years. This will be a safe gathering place where we will talk honestly and openly about the state of our industry. This session starts March 6, 2014 for 4 weeks.   As always this will be a limited enrollment course so participants can get more personal attention. Email me with any questions you have. Based on the sign ups so far this is going to be a lovely group, and I know we are going to have a great month together. See you in the fish bowl!  All the details and registration is here

refuse to settle for anything less than the zaza zoo

This is indeed a blog post announcing the launch of my newest fabric collection, however I shared something in my email newsletter that I would like to share with you here as well. I'm anticipating {big} changes in the way my business is going to evolve this year.

Remember that episode of Sex and the City, the one where Carrie talks about what happens when you experience the 'zsa zsa zsu'? That butterflies in your stomach feeling...  Carrie was talking specifically about the excitement that happens when you meet someone, you fall in love and you know it's right. So how am I relating this to fabric with my animals on it, exactly?  Here's how: I've been thinking a lot about my business lately, why I create what I do and continue to add my art and design into what is beginning to feel like an overly saturated marketplace. First; because I still love being creative {let's just say, at this stage of the game. it's a must. i am and will always be an artist.} and second because I want what I create and choose to share with the world to be more than just another thing you collect. I want it to be meaningful. I want it to be as meaningful for you to own as it is for me to make. I want it to have that feeling of what I'm calling the zaza zoo. Every time you look at it, {or use it to sew with} I want it to bring you joy, comfort and inspiration, butterflies in your stomach, excitement and anticipation of all that's possible. My animal characters were the beginning of this for me, so it seems appropriate to call them the zaza zoo.  In the last lines of that Sex and the City episode, Carrie says, "Some people are settling down. Some people are settling. And some people refuse to settle for anything less...than butterflies"    Refuse to settle for anything less...than the zaza zoo.

And that is all;  zaza zoo is at a store near you, and I've also listed bundles in the shop.

I'm obsessed with the yellow zebras, and then the lavender giraffes and then the black and white monkeys and then the snow leopard....

born again @ 41

I'm writing this on the eve of my 41st birthday, actually 29 minutes until to be exact. 

Since Susannah, aka my aquarian twin {I have to say it's such a treat to share a birthday with her, born just one day apart, it's as if we have been and always will be on this journey together} wrote to a group of us a couple of weeks ago about her idea of sharing the 'truthful tales of how getting older rocks', I've got to be honest and say that this prompt got me thinking about if it really does?

But you know me, if you know me, of course I'm going to come back around, to yes! it most certainly does. It has just been a particularly tough couple of months and/or past year in several ways and I'd be lying to you if I didn't acknowledge that.

But at the end of the day, there is that knowing that seems to hang on in even the darkest times, the place in us that recognizes that this is an amazing time too, even if it is momentarily masquerading as crap.  Life, to me, is still magic.

And how do I know that? I know because as I sit here listening to music with my man on the eve of my birthday, refelecting on times past, all the memories are good. They just are. And believe me, I remember when some of those very same moments also felt really hard. It's as if all the experiences just blend together and what I'm left with is a profound gratitude.

Where am I going with all of this? Here's where: What you have in the early part of your life is this freedom from awareness. No matter how well meaning those older than you are, advising you to appreciate your childhood, your twenties, your thirties, reminding you that the world is your oyster; you're just never going to get it. You are never going to appreciate the time you have in the way you should because you simply can't. You have no hindsight. You haven't lived enough yet to have it. 

But when you're 40. You know that age that seems to freak people out a little? The same age that many almost univerally say is the moment when they first felt the most in their skin. Like they finally caught up with themsleves? It's true. Literally a couple of weeks after I turned 40 {I had to adjust} I felt like myself for the first time. It's fair to say that growing up an only child, spending a significant amount of time with adults, mostly connecting with friends older than me I have always felt ahead of my years. There were moments in my twenties when I actually yearned to be 40 because I knew that the world and the people in it would finally make sense in the way I had always observed it to be. And that's exactly what happened.

A coming of home of sorts. I have the awareness now to see all the good around me as it's happening and I still have my youth. 

Notice that I didn't reference 'the earlier part of life' as 'when you are young' because I have observed that youth is relative, that it is more about a daily decision than it is about how many years you've been on the planet.

I couldn't remember if I announced my age last year, but I did. And I'm so glad I did. Because these can be the years when you start becoming less enthusiastic and anticipatory about the number and the birthday all together. Those of us in the blogging world came up together in our twenties and our thirties, excitedly, anxiously marking those days and years and all of a sudden we've stopped noting the birthdays :-) ...but nope, not this group, as you will see by the eagerness to share in a multitude of posts that will be addressing this mysterious topic of getting older.

And I say mysterious because it seems that our society and culture have almost exclusively been teaching us one view of aging, and that is one of decline not one of expansion, vibrancy and aliveness like no other.

When awareness meets with aliveness, you are unstoppable. And this meeting can only happen when you've been here for a few-ish years. How lucky we are. Those of us who get to experience this meeting place. Oh, I can't even begin to tell you the depth of appreciation I feel on most days. Do I still experience stress, worry and fear as I grow older, I do. Honestly more than I'd like to. But now I have more tools to recognize it sooner and sort it out quicker. This skill set alone gives me a sense of freedom that I never had in my 'younger' days.

I have felt more beautiful now than I ever have. I started dancing again last year so I feel in better shape physically than I ever have. I am more in my skin than ever before and on the days when I can really embrace this, the clarity I have from knowing myself so well is the best. It really, truly is an amazing time and I'm so thankful to be here @ 41.

So the reason I'm calling this post born again is because I literally feel like, in so many ways, my life is just beginning now. Like the first 40 years were just a test run {a pretty good test run, I will say}. And now I get to take all that I have learned thus far and apply it to a life lived all over again. However many days ahead I have, I'll take them! If I get another 40, I'll be so lucky.  

I am awake. I have been for a while. But now, I get it. Every day I'm here is a gift to live, I mean really LIVE.

thank you to all the women {and men} who inspire me: those out ahead of me, who have shown me and cotinue to show me the way, especially my Mom who is a daily example that life at 75 can be even better still! and thank you to all of you coming up behind me who remind me that the ideals and characteristics of youth are here for me to embrace, always.

I am so ready to just to have a whole lot more fun.  The world is still my oyster.

I have a beautiful life and I don't want to miss a minute of it.

jump for joy

7" x 5"

"I think if we get more excited about the unknown instead having trepidation about it..." ~ Lisa G.

Last week, out of the blue, I decided to start collecting profound {to me} things people say, and by collecting I mean actually writing them down so I can refer back to them later. This usually happens in the note app of my Iphone and today it's happening on my blog. 

You know what I'm realizing? When you really listen, people closest to you have a lot of profound insight to share. The best part is; most of the time they're not even trying to say something profound, they're just talking, and there it is.

You know what else I'm realizing? We could use a new inventory of memorable quotes. I've grown tired of repeating great minds who were on the planet a hundred or more years ago. Not that I don't appreciate insight from the past but hey, it might be time for something new. 

I'm quoting one of my dearest friends this morning because she reminded me why times of uncertainty should be welcomed and not something to fear. 

And she's right. And I know this. Yet temporarily I forgot again. Should you need a quick reminder today?

{original painting is available here}

peace and quiet Jim Hogan

On the last day of 2013, we lost Sean's dad, Jim Hogan.

The question everyone asks is, "was it expected"? As if somehow knowing will make it any easier.

I lost my dad suddenly. We lost Sean's dad over the last several years. Both lived long full lives. If anything, knowing that they lived so fully is what brings me comfort. The grief is the same. In one scenario you cry a lot for many years after. In the other scenario you cry all the years along the way up until the last moment. And then, even though you thought you were prepared, you still experience all the feelings that accompany this kind of loss.

Normally I might have a lot to say here... In fact if you've noticed I've been much quieter on my blog over the last couple of years. Some of it is simply that our internet world is changing again and my growing business has demanded more time elsewhere. 

The other side is that I've experienced a lot of personal loss this year and recent years past, and for the first time in a long time I am feeling completely without words, both written and spoken. I don't know if I'm noticing loss more? if I took it in stride before? if it all feels too big and too close to my heart right now? or if we've really been through a season of life that has included more than its fair share of sadness? Probably a combination of all of the above.

What I do know is that this kind of loss is a certain part of life. Knowing this doesn't make it any easier to go through, but it does cause me to reevaluate how I want to experience it. Whether I want to make it more painful than it already is? or whether I can stay soft and loving and thankful for all who are here by our side, and all that we do have, especially each other, even on the darkest days. Sean and I were able to do this over these last few weeks, as if instead of our hearts closing from the sadness, we insisted they stay open. 

'Peace and Quiet' is something that Jim always said.

He was another father to me over the last 10 years. 

I loved hearing his stories and philosophies of life.

He always made me laugh even up until the last few days.

I was instantly welcomed into his family, with a Fosters in a frosty mug, of course.

He was there from the beginning of this business.

I painted many of my early daily paintings at his kitchen table.

Always supportive, always taking an interest in how it was all coming together.

I can't thank him enough.

for all of his support, kindness and generosity.

and most of all for his son, Sean.

 

{photo c. 1962, Sean, Jim, Sandy and Jennifer}

my ideal grocery list + an organization tip

Did you see the new notepads in the shop update last Thursday?

Want the story behind these? Well first I'm exploring adding more stationery products to the Creative Thursday collection.

Second is my continued appreciation of an organized life. I'm a list keeper for sure.

Finally, third, and most importantly to fulfill my quest for the ideal grocery list. 

We keep a weekly grocery list,  like, I'm assuming most everyone does? The way it works in our household is that Sean and I trade off going to the store for our main grocery shopping once a week.  The idea is that we try to plan ahead, limiting the time that gets eaten up by too many random trips to the store. There are always the exceptions of course, like when we want a special treat or buy something super fresh to be made the same day, or when I go to the Farmer's Market. What has taken me years to figure out is; why not only plan my grocery list ahead of time but from an actual menu for the week - and by menu I mean mostly dinners as breakfast and lunch in our family is pretty simple and consistent -  instead of going solely off of what food supplies we we are out of, and what our favorite foods are for the season. Might seem obvious - yes? to plan your meals for the week, yet for a long time I was not able to make the time for that or find a grocery list that has place for you to write them down. Because! It's so helpful to have the menu in front of you when you're actually at the store so: a) you remember why you're buying the food on your list and: b) if you forgot to write down one of the ingredients for your meals, seeing the name of the dish might remind you? 

So that's my big organization tip - or make your life easier tip - for this week. Simple, just a little pre-planning required. Taking the time to figure out what you're going to eat {at least dinners}  on each day ahead of time, makes the shopping so much quicker, while answering the daily question 'what's for dinner?', while also eliminating the stress and frenzy that usually follows that question when you're fast and furiously throwing together a meal from what's in your fridge, freezer or pantry or all of the above. 

If you don't already know this about me, I love food. While an awesome meal out on occassion is a favorite, we are happy eating at home most nights. In the past couple of years I've been having way more fun cooking and trying new recipes. I honestly think it has something to do with being more organized, leaving me feeling like I actually have the time to cook. It's become some sort of a meter as to how balanced my life is at any given moment. Time to make a meal = in balance. No time = flying by the seat of my pants. Neither one is right or wrong. I've just found that right now I like having more days in balance than out. Preparing thoughtful dinners {not necessarily laborious} has become a priority in our family, not just this thing we have to do to keep my our energy going and blood sugar up. {because you don't want to see the crankiness that ensues when Sean or my blood sugar is low}

We also take a lot of pride in trying to use all of the food we buy. It seriously bums me out to have to throw anything out at the end of the week or have a fridge filled with foods that are way past their expiration date. One simple 'menu' section fulfills all of this for me, so I decided to make my own customized grocery list. I also added a third section for 'household' items since we often buy our household supplies at different locations. Should this kind of a list also work for you? I've added a few to the shop.

All the years spent rebelling against a plan, I get it now. A little planning is good. Thank you Sean. It's his fault, I mean influence. He and I also trade out cooking on different nights of the week and if you want to see planning in action, this man has his meal preparations complete way ahead of time {I'm still working up to this}  

Ease, more ease in my life. That's kind of been my word for the year. Personally and professionally I'm seeing if I can make more choices with ease.