Since you've asked...
I officially resigned from Facebook yesterday, and will be deleting my account this week.
Let's just say after I clicked 'share' on my status update I felt so *relieved*
As is often the case I have a lot to say about this, a lot of opinions, and several of you have even been subjected to my in person ranting/venting about why I want to leave Facebook on more than one occasion in this past year. So it was time!
Sometimes you've got be a sheep that breaks away from the herd, and after I tweeted about this decision yesterday I realize I am not a lone sheep. However, I am often a minority in my thinking, with the majority figuring it out some point down the road ~ and after years of resisting my nature and trying to blend in ~ I'm finally ok with at all. I'm willing be the lone sheep if need be.
Which brings me to the real point about why I'm leaving and also why I'm writing this post. It's not to trash Facebook, or be opinionated about those who genuinely enjoy it, it's about following what I teach, and living by example.
In my classes, in my life, I talk about following your heart, your intuition, your guidance, whatever you want to call it. And I talk about how important it is to make life choices and work choices from that place. I also talk about the importance of learning as soon as possible how to tune into that place and trust it, especially when you are a starting a business. I know this gets very difficult when you add making money into the mix because for very obvious reasons, many of us still believe that we have to make choices, and do things we don't like when it comes to our businesses or more specifically making money. {a whole separate discussion} True some of the time, but I have been challenging myself in this business to follow what feels best for me in any given moment, to make decisions solely from this place and not make decisions based upon fear, or monetary or personal gain. Nothing wrong with monetary and personal gain, but for me personally, it can not come at the expense of what feels right in my heart.
That is my long version of saying that for whatever reason, Facebook has never felt right to me. I'm on it because I think I'm supposed to be. Because I'm an online business and really the more people who know what you do the better, right? In theory yes. But when you break it down it's really the more people who know, care and love what you do the better. And for me as a business owner I want to spend time creating for and connecting with those specific people.
Now don't get me wrong, initially when I joined Facebook I loved connecting with long lost friends and I thought it was so much fun, but then I realized that most people would reach out to me to be 'my friend' and then never say a word to me ever again. When I joined Facebook I reached out to a few close personal friends in the beginning, as well as some people from my high school I hadn't seen since high scool...and then I began wondering if I really wanted to add this whole other communications arena to my already expanding collection of online presences...so I stopped reaching out to people on FB entirely. So it's safe to say that the friends I have almost exclusively reached out to me. Which means that you'd think they want to keep in touch right? And maybe they do and seeing me post a status update every week or so works great for that, but to me because I'm a person that can't do things half-ass ~ it's not enough. Look if I'm going to keep in touch with someone it's because I want to maintain the friendship. That takes time, effort and a certain consistency. I know life gets busy, and sometimes consistency goes out the window and that doesn't mean that caring for someone has also gone out the window, but that's just it. Life gets busy. Life is busy and how on earth are we supposed to have time to keep up with literally every person we have been friends with throughout the course of our lives. NOT possible and not really meant to be. Friendship for me is more about fostering the personal friendships I presently choose to be a part of, not about numbers on a facebook account.
Full disclaimer: Aside from the 2% of people I mention below, I am not talking to or referencing my personal friends or family or those of you who are my online friends over at Facebook, Flickr or this blog or twitter. You are LOVELY. I am also not judging people who jive with facebook and have found that to be their favorite online venue to connect with others. I think Facebook fills a void and serves a great purpose to connect people who have no other means of reaching out to one another. I know a lot of families who keep in touch that way and it works perfectly. I think that was the original intent of Facebook anyway? yes? My mom just happens to follow me on twitter and my blog ;)
All of that aside, Facebook for me became an account I kept to promote my business, more than a place to keep in touch with friends. Since it's my personal account, and I'm already on twitter, flickr, keep this blog and have an email list... I seriously think I've already inundated the airwaves with my business and it just didn't feel right posting about my business all the time. And for some reason it just didn't feel right posting personally either, still do not know why exactly? I tend to think that every online venue is like a home that represents the values of the 'owner' and while I haven't seen the movie the "Social Network" yet, and while it is 'fiction', as my friend said if the guy who started Facebook is even 1/10th as bad as they portrayed him, not good.
I'm just going to sum up the rest of my thoughts on why I'm leaving Facebook with the following list, in no particular order of importance, and I'm going to start it by being purely honest:
- Facebook has always felt slightly slimy and snarky to me, and I have never enjoyed logging in.
- For this reason, and this could be me projecting here, but I have also found that some people, I'm thinking because they just don't know how to have a certain online etiquette because they aren't practiced in being a part of online communities, like keeping a blog etc., leave weird, trying too hard to be overly witty, status updates and smart ass comments. I have been really surprised at what people, that I personally know and call friends, have come all the way over to my wall to tell me in 'public', but yet can't pick up the phone or just send a simple email to keep in touch. It's true, I'm sad to say.
- Again, let me say: 98% of my personal friends and blog readers I am not talking to you. The other 2% I am talking to you.
- I think that even though it's important to have an online presence in this day and age, especially if you are a business, you have to choose the one's that feel the best to you, the one's that you are most excited and inspired to participate in, not because you think you have to or because 'everyone is doing it too'
- Because I wasn't inspired by Facebook I was only doing a half-ass job posting to it and as I said above, that just doesn't work for me. If I'm going to have a presence online, I will be present and I will enjoy being present. It won't feel like something I have to do
- I think it's ok that even if you are an online business with a presence, you still should have some privacy and I've found facebook to be way less private an online space than twitter for instance. Anyone and everyone you've friended and then some can tag you in photos, and post on your wall. Not that you can't manage and moderate that content, but hey ~ it's one more thing to keep track of.
- And speaking of content, I'm pretty specific about the content and the friendships I let into my life these days. It feels more challenging to manage content and interaction I really want to receive and be a part of on FB.
- So right about now, you might be saying "well don't friend everyone" but you see I cannot do that. By the time I realized that facebook is better suited for keeping in touch with close personal friends and family, I had already been friending everyone that wanted to be friends ~ also because it just feels mean to say "no I won't be your friend". Can't do it. However if on the off chance I decide I miss FB and I return I will only be friends with people I personally know.
- On the legal side and probably most important of all: and I don't have all the accurate facts on this so please research this for yourself. My understanding is that whenever you load images to facebook, FB automatically has certain rights to those images. As an artist, that doesn't work for me. This may have been corrected and there may be settings you can set to prevent this, but just the mere fact that I have to work really hard to protect my personal rights, also does not work for me.
- Many of my long-lost friends who friended me, don't really stay in touch with me, or even say a word to me. Maybe if we're lucky we exchange one message back in forth and sometimes no message at all. I'm just also going to say that if we were friends once and we were meant to stay in touch we probably would have already been in touch without facebook needing to re-connect us.
- I keep a blog. Have kept a blog for 4 years. If you want to stay in touch, you can meet me here. If I want to stay in touch with you, I will find a way to connect with you that does not involve your facebook wall.
- Thought I would dislike twitter for many of the same "social media" reasons, but it turns out that I absolutely love it. For me personally, I find it way easier to navigate and express my thoughts on.
- So then you might say "hey you can link your twitter feed with your Facebook feed" but then I say, I tweet too a fair amount and that kind of streaming just does not work well with the FB interface.
- I also much prefer the no-obligation kind of connecting and interacting with one another. On twitter and my blog if you want to follow along you can, and if you don't. No worries. You don't have to go out of your way to 'hide' someone or 'not friend' someone. Again, just plain mean and if you are 'friends' with someone that you decide you need to 'hide' on Facebook, then I guess that's not really your friend right? And that's just dishonest.
- Look it's hard enough juggling all the balls and making room for people in your life that you genuinely want to share your time with let alone, try and keep up with all the online venues and social media, let alone raise your kids, be loving and attentive in your relationship, take your dog on a walk and have some time just for you, maybe? to be creative, maybe?
- Which brings me to final point. I started my own business to do work that I love, to be as you know, more creative. With all of my attention being split in so many directions on any given day, it needs to be given to areas and relationships that matter most and it needs to be given to my creativity...otherwise there will soon be no more business to blog and tweet about.
When I've spoken to colleagues in the past about this decision, the big question, as business owners, is can we afford not do have a presence in all these social media venues? Will it hurt our business? A fair question. Well, I guess it might. However I will say that I have made decisions in the past, to walk away from opportunities or relationships that may have helped my business grow faster at the time, but I would've had to sacrifice some part of my truth and integrity. Wasn't worth it to me, and now several years later I'm still right where I envisioned I would be.
So I guess when it's all said and done, I'm willing to take that chance that I might be slowing the progress and/or awareness of my work and what I do. I simply do not want to build a business on anything disingenuous or what I think I should be doing, instead of what feels genuine, right and inspired.
