I've had the photo above sitting out on my desk over the last month, remembering Lulu and now I am also looking at it to remember Jackson. On the heels of a celebratory week, more tears. "Hands Up" I've had enough loss for one month.
My ex-husband, my friend, Art said goodbye to Jackson today.
When I was in college, I took a trip to New York with the University Art Department. Every year, two of the college art professors would take a group of art students on an in depth, personally guided tour of New York City and it's art world. It was an amazing trip. It was also on that tour that I first became introduced to and fell in love with a Weimaraner. William Wegman was having a photography show at the Whitney featuring his Weimaraners. Little did I know, that I would soon share my life with one of these beautiful dogs.
Jackson was my first baby. Art and I met him for the first time at 6 weeks old. He was so tiny, so sweet and so, so soft. If you've ever had the pleasure of knowing a Weimaraner, especially a puppy then you know how soft they are, literally like velvet.
Fourteen years Jackson spent with us. The first eight with Art and I together and the last six with Art, his wife Chi, and their two children.
As with my recent post on our Lulu girl, how does one even begin to explain fourteen years with Jackson.
Jackson saw Art and I, especially Art through so, so much. He came into my life as a bright, shiny light when my mom was sick with breast cancer. He would sit in the front passenger seat on my car rides down to visit with her on the weekend, his sweet puppy face staring back at me, letting me know everything was going to be alright. He brought smiles and laughter to my mom and I, at a time when we needed it most.
The laughter was brought on by just a few things like, oh, he ate "articles of clothing" {and that's all I'm going to say about that}, shredded down feathered pillows all over our living room, created garbage "art" repeatedly in our kitchen ~ oh yes he did. If you have had the pleasure of spending time with a Weimaraner, than you also know about their high spirit and boundless energy that translates into years of unforgettable shenanigans.
He saw us through a move a cross the country first to Colorado, then on to Los Angeles ~ never happier than on the days he could hike off-leash through the hills of Boulder. An independent spirit, he was also happiest I think as the only dog in the family, but was gracious and sweet with Lulu when she joined us ~ even on the days when she tried to take his bed when he wasn't looking, which was pretty much every day. After all she had been through in her early life, Jackson became Lulu's guardian, her security blanket. She always felt safest when Jackson was there. And in a way, I have now come to realize that Lulu and Jackson were Art and I my security blankets.
They saw us through our divorce, Lulu coming with me and Jackson going with Art. Over the last six years, we have remained in each other's lives, through the dogs, the last connection of our life spent together. And now that era has come to a close. We presently are and I hope will always be in each other's lives but it will be going forward from the beginning of a new era.
We find it interesting that they left within weeks of one another. It's almost as if all the times we thought we were there for them, they were really there for us. And now, for whatever reason, after years of being by our sides, they had completed their mission, and it was ok for them both to go.
I contemplated closing the comments on this post. I know many of you come here for joy ~ and it feels like lately my posts have been lopsided towards sadness ~ yet this is an art blog that also follows along in the journey of my life, and my life influences my art. So closing the comments, would be like saying ~ nope not ok to feel all of this again ~ yet that is going against the very thing that Lulu's passing taught me ~ that is that it's ok to feel all of it, that in fact, feeling and embracing ALL of life is the fullest way to live.
I also realized, especially in Lulu's passing, how much grace and beauty there is in all the cycles of life. And sharing on this this blog of late has been especially helpful in allowing me to move through these cycles with more ease, and with more awareness to notice this gentle harmony in each and every moment of my life.
And you know I find it fitting to remember Jackson in just this very way. He was a dog of little worry. He lived a life of ease. A happy go lucky little fellow, who lived for a good bowl{s} of food, he always seemed to go with the flow {unless you, and by you I mean Lulu crowded his space} In the times that he would come and sit by your side, his back leaning up against your leg, he seemed to always be saying that "everything is going to be alright".
So in honoring his spirit I will continue to stand by my belief that in life "everything is always going to be alright" As I close out this post, I realize that instead of closing out a celebratory week, I instead continue it. I will celebrate the lives of two beautiful dogs, and the wonderful era that they shared with me.
