Creative Thursday

my ideal grocery list + an organization tip

Did you see the new notepads in the shop update last Thursday?

Want the story behind these? Well first I'm exploring adding more stationery products to the Creative Thursday collection.

Second is my continued appreciation of an organized life. I'm a list keeper for sure.

Finally, third, and most importantly to fulfill my quest for the ideal grocery list. 

We keep a weekly grocery list,  like, I'm assuming most everyone does? The way it works in our household is that Sean and I trade off going to the store for our main grocery shopping once a week.  The idea is that we try to plan ahead, limiting the time that gets eaten up by too many random trips to the store. There are always the exceptions of course, like when we want a special treat or buy something super fresh to be made the same day, or when I go to the Farmer's Market. What has taken me years to figure out is; why not only plan my grocery list ahead of time but from an actual menu for the week - and by menu I mean mostly dinners as breakfast and lunch in our family is pretty simple and consistent -  instead of going solely off of what food supplies we we are out of, and what our favorite foods are for the season. Might seem obvious - yes? to plan your meals for the week, yet for a long time I was not able to make the time for that or find a grocery list that has place for you to write them down. Because! It's so helpful to have the menu in front of you when you're actually at the store so: a) you remember why you're buying the food on your list and: b) if you forgot to write down one of the ingredients for your meals, seeing the name of the dish might remind you? 

So that's my big organization tip - or make your life easier tip - for this week. Simple, just a little pre-planning required. Taking the time to figure out what you're going to eat {at least dinners}  on each day ahead of time, makes the shopping so much quicker, while answering the daily question 'what's for dinner?', while also eliminating the stress and frenzy that usually follows that question when you're fast and furiously throwing together a meal from what's in your fridge, freezer or pantry or all of the above. 

If you don't already know this about me, I love food. While an awesome meal out on occassion is a favorite, we are happy eating at home most nights. In the past couple of years I've been having way more fun cooking and trying new recipes. I honestly think it has something to do with being more organized, leaving me feeling like I actually have the time to cook. It's become some sort of a meter as to how balanced my life is at any given moment. Time to make a meal = in balance. No time = flying by the seat of my pants. Neither one is right or wrong. I've just found that right now I like having more days in balance than out. Preparing thoughtful dinners {not necessarily laborious} has become a priority in our family, not just this thing we have to do to keep my our energy going and blood sugar up. {because you don't want to see the crankiness that ensues when Sean or my blood sugar is low}

We also take a lot of pride in trying to use all of the food we buy. It seriously bums me out to have to throw anything out at the end of the week or have a fridge filled with foods that are way past their expiration date. One simple 'menu' section fulfills all of this for me, so I decided to make my own customized grocery list. I also added a third section for 'household' items since we often buy our household supplies at different locations. Should this kind of a list also work for you? I've added a few to the shop.

All the years spent rebelling against a plan, I get it now. A little planning is good. Thank you Sean. It's his fault, I mean influence. He and I also trade out cooking on different nights of the week and if you want to see planning in action, this man has his meal preparations complete way ahead of time {I'm still working up to this}  

Ease, more ease in my life. That's kind of been my word for the year. Personally and professionally I'm seeing if I can make more choices with ease. 

a return to dance

Dance has always been a part of my life, from being a tiny ballerina to dancing in front of my mirror as a tween to late night clubbing through college, to randomly breaking into dance as an adult. I took classes off and on, ballet, tap and jazz from the time I was 4- I even performed several times  - and then in my mid twenties, a Lyrical Jazz class I was taking in Boulder intimidated me and I stopped. This decision is also what lead me to find Iyengar Yoga, which I will be forever grateful for. Twelve years in, I plan to do yoga as long as I am alive.

But...I knew I always wanted to make a return to dance. {As was evidenced by the fact that even with my multiple bouts of de-cluttering and organzing, I could never let go of my ballet and jazz shoes.} If you live in L.A., a city filled with professional dancers, now we're talking intimidation. You know how it is with some classes. There's a lot of attitude from the other dancers, and sometimes even from the teachers. With any class you have to be willing to find the one that is the right fit for you. And don't be afraid to make a change if it isn't.

Also, while it felt like forever  that I put off taking dance again - sometimes in life we can only take on one scary thing at a time. For a good several year chunk of my thirties building an art business from scratch was all I had the energy and bravery for. While this post is ultimately in service of encouraging you to do those things that have been scaring you, it's important to note that we don't have to do everything all at once and being gentle with ourselves when we are already being brave in one area of life is a nice thing to do.

I think leaving my class in Boulder was really all in my head. I let myself get intimidated. Nobody did it to me. My teacher was excellent, a former Denver Bronco's cheerleader, she lead a class full of young competition students. Class was inspiring and pushed me to become better. I think if I remember correctly my teacher even asked me if I was going to audition for the team? But I ignored that, instead spending most classes feeling like I was nowhere as good as everyone else. Oh and in class,  I felt kind of old at 26. Hindsight. Seriously, why do we start doing that age thing to ourselves so early?

Not anymore. I realized that this fear I've had - time for it to go.  Several months before my 40th birthday I decided no more waiting. If you get one thing when you turn 40 and you're an entrpreneur , it's that there's just no more room for intimidation. Whey spend one more day of my life worrying about what others think, especially in a dance class. 

So I did it. I joined a beginning ballet class to rebuild my dance foundation and in the ten months I've been been back, I've also added on a contemporary jazz class. It feels so good to be back. I'm now going 3-4 times a week.

I'm really happy with my classes and my studio. I found one here in L.A. that is all about the love of dance. The dominant attitude of the teachers is supportive. What I also think is great is the range of ages and sexes of the students who come to class. Yes, there are professionals there and even in a beginning class I'm still surrounded by great students {who continue to make me want to be better} but this time I'm ok, especially with being a beginner again. When I'm the last one, the end of the line traveling across the floor and that old feeling of self judgment creeps up I remember that it doesn't exist in my life anymore. I let it go and I have fun. And not to mention I'm getting in some serious excercise - always good for the body and the overall mental state.

I wanted to share this with you here, because a while back when I instagram-ed these photos I had several people telling me they too wanted to make the return to dance. All I want to add is this: to any of you on the fence about making a return to or being a beginner again {at whatever you love or want to explore} -  DO IT!!

'Creative Thursday' reviews

So the book is out! as you already know or will know after you stumble upon this post.

I made a decision. After my Los Angeles event, I thought about how I want my book to be 'marketed' and that is that I don't want it to be marketed, I want it to be promoted if people feel inspired to share it.

I am not doing a blog book tour and I am not asking bloggers to review the book. If you are seeing reviews out there it is because readers are choosing to talk about it. And while it is standard for publishers to giveaway copies specifically for people to review, most of the reviews I've seen are from people who actually bought the book, which is generous on top of generous {thank you}

Now before I go any further, for the record: I'm not opposed to or suggesting that marketing, blog book tours or giving people copies for review is disengenous. All of these are fine and excellent, and some would say necessary ways to get word of your book out there. I'm just an author and business owner choosing a different approach for now. Let's be honest; a book's shelf life is ultimately determined by word of mouth, by its readers.

That in my opinion is just how it should be. I want 'Creative Thursday' to have a life beyond it's first printing if it speaks to people enough for them to continue to give it life and if not then that is absolutely fine. I don't want anyone to share any reviews or links of my book, or my work for that matter, out of even the slightest bit of obligation. I want word of my work to continue to spread because - I'll tell you about it, as I'm usually pretty fired up about new projects and also as a self-supporting business - it's nice to keep your customers in the loop. I will also show you some additional peeks into the book in this post :)

But that's it. Beyond that if a project succeeds or doesn't beyond it's initial offering, that will be up to my supporters, customers, readers and in the case of this book the stores who choose to carry it. done and done.

As an entrepreneur, the life of my business is ultimately determined by personal decisions about how I want to run it. Simply put what feels right, inspired, honest, what feels genuine - not what anyone else tells me I should be doing to either make my business grow or  sell my book. Because truthfully if I make any decisons not from these intentions, it doesn't really work anyway. 

I love this book- more than ever, missing page and all {which you can download here by the way} Based upon the emails I'm getting, and reviews I'm reading you love it too. This alone tells me that writing the 'Creative Thursday' has already fulfilled it's purpose. It is being received exactly as I hoped it would be. And I'm thrilled about this. I also intended for it to be timeless, so of course I want it to have a home on bookshelves and electronic devices for years to come.  With that said, every bit of positive feedback, reviews online and on Amazon, telling your friends and family about it, buying it as a gift all help move it forward. So I guess I am actually asking but I am asking you to share something positive if and only if you feel inspired to do so. If you send me an email telling me how much the book speaks to you and you also feel comfortable sharing it on Amazon, that would be awesome. 

For those of you who have emailed me and who have already posted such kind reviews, thank you so much! If you are interested in reading some here are few to get you started Stitch Craft Create,  RedlineDesign, Dining Room Empire, Sue Bulmer. And if you have posted a review be sure to let me know so I can link back to you. Thank you Melanie for suggesting 'Creative Thursday' as a giftie for Valentine's day and thank you to those of you sharing snapshots on Instgram too, like Shayla above. And the best, I made it to Amber's 'these are on the back of my toilet and sometimes I read them for three whole minutes' list. I am complete.

hello 40

I celebrated a birthday yesterday. Actually I celebrated a birthday for 5 days {something I highly recommend doing- why just 1 day?!} And I have to say that I was feeling mixed about this one, about the number and whether or not to share anything about it online. You could say I was having a bit of a 24 hr. crisis when it comes to some of what the number 40 'means' as well as what using social media means to me these days. And then you realize how nice it is to be able to wish someone a happy birthday especially when they let you know,  that there's also nothing you can do to change your birth year, and you get on with your day :)

I guess this is also the age where you either start lying about how many numbers you are or you embrace it. Inspired by mom I've opted for the latter. 

Once I got over my mini crisis I remembered how lucky I am, especially to have been here for 40 years, how I've never felt better, both physically and emotionally, how I finally feel like I'm getting this life thing down; how I want to live it, how I want to be, who I want to share it with. I feel younger than I did in my twenties {is that possible?!} I  know who I am now.  And on the days when I lose sight of that temporarily I know how to find my way back quicker than ever. All I want to do is take this knowledge and as often as I can show up living and appreciating every hour of every day, to the fullest. I want to love life, me and everyone more. I want to have more FUN! I want to create less struggle and more ease.  And I absolutely want to keep making art!

All in all a pretty good place to be.  hello 40. I welcome you now. 

it still isn't easy

No matter how many years I put myself and my art out there it still feels awkward to stand in front of it at an event. I love it, I feel proud, and then I also feel completely vulnerable in a way that the online world has {mostly} sheltered me from. At this point I'm probably so used to sharing and selling online, that I almost have to relearn how to be  in person with my art.

I'm sure I have said it before {most likely after my last Renegade}, I much prefer when a customer can just purchase what they love, on their own time, and I know about it once they've made that decision. Truthfully I think I prefer to be a customer in the same way.

Most of the creatives I know, we just don't like 'selling' our art. I mean we LOVE selling it, just not selling it, you know the difference?  While this event was more of a celebration than a show, I still felt especially vulnerable. 

And this is why for this night in particular, I am so, so {that's a double so} thankful to my creatives who came! We know. We just know what's it like to put yourself out there. And we show up for one another, not just in words but in person. Most people don't get this, because they simply don't want to or aren't willing to put themselves out there. It takes bravery. It always does, even if you've done it before. Sometimes I think we forget this because so many of us are making it look easy, but everyone I know feels butterflies in their stomach every time they share new work or ask someone to come to their event. No complaints here, just awareness and observation. I chose this life as a creative entrepreneur and I love it, even down to the butterflies.

This doesn't mean that I don't absolutely understand that life is crazy, busy for most, especially at this time of year and that we can't all make it to everyone's events all the time {because we are also more global and not living in the same area}...but if you can, do. It's means so much when people show up in support of one another. Somehow I think I got this in a new way this weekend. It reminded me that I want to support others more, because when you do it's big. Every little bit matters.

I was joking that the thing with writing a book is that by the time you have the event to celebrate, you have no more friends to invite. Because most likely it's been all consuming leaving you without much capacity to socialize let alone be a great friend {or blog...ahem} But everyone understands. We know that life has moments, personally and professionally where you just have to go inward for a while. So to everyone who came on Saturday thank you!!!! It meant a lot that you were there. 

And by the way that dress I'm wearing, it's my fabric and I sewed it myself and I will tell you again the next time I see you {that's for you Anne xo}

 

by the way - you should also know! I'm having a final holiday shopping sale at the shop today only until 11:59 pm PST. 15% off with the coupon HOLIDAYTIME

there have been times

when I've looked at other's lives, wishing I had more of what they have. instead lately i've been looking more at my life and am really happy with what I see.

make good art

 

Ok. Seriously. I think this might be one of the BEST speeches I've ever seen for the artist, just starting out, already going and especially those of us who make our art our business. - thank you for this Karin and thank you Neil 

{note to self}: let go and enjoy the ride

things I'm afraid to tell you

 

There's so much I want to say about this.

Inspired by Jess' post, a movement started by EZ, a month or so in the works already, have you heard about this yet? Have you written a post inspired by this topic?  EZ's thoughts on this are wonderful by the way and knowing her in person, I can tell you that her post is exactly like sitting down to have an in person conversation with her. 

That's what most of us are after here with our blogs, right? A feeling like if you sat down in person with the blogger behind the blog, it would be similar or the same? We pride ourselves on a sense of transparency and working from the heart. And by we I'm speaking mostly of the creative, art and design community that I've come to know over the last six years of being in this online world. 

But lately, I guess there's been a lot of backlash about blogs not being transparent enough? Portraying so much beauty and pretty, and perceived perfection that now everyone's upset because they can't measure up to a blog or a blogger they follow. Really, is this what it always comes down to? The pendulum swings one way so far that there has to always be something to rebel against. I remember the days when the beauty and sincerity expressed on blogs was a complete breath of fresh air to me ~ especially in comparison to traditional media outlets that are not only hyper edited but tend to focus almost solely on exploiting the negative events on this planet. I also remember when I asked a similar question of myself and the blog world a few years ago. But I'm feeling seasoned in this world now and I have new thoughts to add ot the mix.

To be honest blogs still provide a huge source of inspiration for me. Have I too fallen into the trap of not feeling enough in comparison. Absolutely, as I'll share more with you below. However I fell into that trap long before there were blogs. I fell into that trap as soon as I was pitted against someone in school, when I didn't make the dance team, or when my parents openly judged someone against me in front of me. To suddenly blame blogs for our lack of a sense of self is a bit extreme. And also good, because it gets conversations like this going which always means progress.

I'd say instead that we're all of after a strong sense of self. And by we, I mean every single one of us.

When are we going to realize - we can read blogs or not, support or ridicule them but it's not things from the outside that are upsetting our sense of self. Nobody is upsetting us. We are always the ones who are responsible for how we feel. We can keep letting the outside world be our excuse to disrupt us or we can decide to do the inner work and commit to developing a strong sense of self anyway. Then and only then, is when the all of this outside noise will finally fall away.

In my opinion blogs have been the closest that we've come to cracking the surface. It makes perfect sense since most of the blogs 'somebody is internet yelling at' {loving that expression that I read over at Melanie's blog} are the pioneers. They are simply finding their way with this just like the rest of us. I've said time and time again - so now I'm going to internet yell it, and I'm going to make it bold so you really know I'm yelling it:

GIVE yourselves a break. THIS is a new medium. NONE of us know how it to balance it all. NONE of us know how it's going to shake out exactly. BECAUSE as soon as we figure one part out, it changes {entirely}. TRY balancing what is changing every day. YOU CAN'T. OTHER than to find balance within yourself and do YOUR work, not SOMEONE ELSE's from that space. FIND YOUR VOICE. Be clear how you want to present yourself and your brand or your personal life or your business or both and do it. DON'T WORRY about how and why everyone else is doing what they're doing. WE ARE NOT ALL MEANT TO BE and DO EVERYTHING THE SAME.

What I'm trying to say beneath my internet shouting here is that just because someone blogs does not mean that they suddenly owe it to everyone to reveal their entire personal life. In fact they don't owe anything to anyone, unless they are professional, and then they have their sponsors who care about traffic. I have no experience with this so I'm not going to speak to it. Even then, most of those blogs that are now professional started as inspired ideas and only became professional because their inspired ideas garnered a lot of eyeballs. And since I know many of those bloggers in person, I know they are trying their best to keep their blog as true to their original inspiration and voice as they can. But it is a business. And business is not personal. It just isn't. And it also goes through changes. 

As you know if you've been coming here for a while - Authenticity, Integrity,  Truth  matter a whole heck of a lot to me. A LOT. Probably too much because the world often seems to fall short of my expectations around this. I sometimes fall short of this as well. But those values are in me, have been since the time I was small.  And I've been disappointed more times than I can count with people who claim to value these traits and reveal to me through their actions that they actually do not have a clue about what it means to live with these values.

I assume that if you visit here, you expect that I will also come to the table with these qualities in this blog. And I have tried. Absolutely I have. There are probably times I've fallen short, but I've always tried to be super clear about what this blog space is for me.

And lately, for quite a while actually, probably since I started my book and have been temporarily paralyzed, by energy and time parameters to share any of my usual thoughts here  - I've been thinking. I've been thinking so much about what I want this blog to be, for me. 

Because I'm not a sponsored blog, but Creative Thursday is my business. Yet, I've always claimed this blog in part as my personal space to also share what speaks to me. And my art, while it is my business. It's personal. So where is all of this going? Better yet, where do I want it to go? I do not have the newest answer to this yet, but this topic has become a great kickstart to defining that more. And I do know that I need to do things my way, instead of everyone else's way more than ever before.

Big surprise, the internet has changed again. It's changed in the last six months that I have been away from it more than I have been present. 

The point is that all I ask of myself and anyone, ever, is just to be true to who they are, where they are in any moment. So if your blog is professional, you don't owe it to anyone to share more personal information than you want to, or you can share as much of your personal life as you'd like. If your blog is personal, the same applies. If you only want to share what uplifts you, inspires you and feels pretty, then you have that right. If you want to lift up the rug and show the dirt, and the dustbunnies and the pile of laundry or the dirty dishes, that is your right. If you wat to vent about what pisses you off, do it. If you want to highlight stories that make you happy, do it. If you want to do both, do that. If you want to only show imagery and say nothing, fantastic. Who said blogging had to be any one way? What I ask is that we all be clear of our intentions so there's no confusion. Just one simple statement somewhere about what you intend, and that is all. And if that's not your style either, don't do it - it's just a simple request from me. Oh and guess what, you always have the right to change your mind, or your business, or your overall direction in life and your blog. You do. We all do.

With all of that said, I'm coming back to the actual topic at hand here what am I afraid to tell you? Truth is I'm not actually afraid to tell you anything. Hesitant sometimes yes, but not afraid. If I havent' told you what I'm going to share with you here it's probably because you haven't spent enough time in person with me. Because if you have, I will tell you. 

I grew up in a family where a lot of personal pain and turmoil was kept private. I was the only kid, so sometimes I felt as if I had to carry the burden of that. Not intended by my family of course. And I certainly didn't try to take it on. It just happens, because when you're little you don't know any better. You come into the world with an open heart. You don't know that there are things you are supposed to share and things you don't. You don't know yet what a bunch of people are going to expect of you. You're just you. {And honestly that person, is who I'm perpetually trying to make my way back to.}

Part of the reason I think I took so much on is because there was nowhere to share it. Because I grew up in a time where privacy was valued and just how things were done, I guess my rebellion is in being as completely honest as I can. However, with reservation and almost exclusively with those closest to me. 

There is a lot that I've openly shared on this blog and I've been told more than once in my life, even by other artists that I share too much. That I wear my heart on my sleeve, as if somehow this is a flaw. To which I've always fired back, but this is who I am. I do share freely what's on my mind, I do where my heart on my sleeve, I do want to help people, especially fellow creatives find their way - but, not entirely, not completely with every single person or on my blog. And that is also me.

I do like leaving some parts of myself a mystery, maybe even because they are a mystery to me. Not because it's somehow better to by mysterious, as I've also been told by artists, but because I don't want every bit of my heart out there in the hands of people I do not personally know or trust. Somethings that we experience in life are simply to delicate to be shared before we are our ready. And some things we know not everyone is ready to hear. 

So as I share with you my list related to this topic, I will also tell you that there are almost always personal things happening that I am not sharing with you. Not because I am afraid to, but because I don't want to.  

While my blog may be in the middle of experiencing a tiny identity crisis, it has never been my sole confidant. It has always been about my art, my inspiration, my thoughts, my life related to my creative journey. And that's probably never going to change...but never say never.

Alrighty then, some things I probably haven't shared with you - for fear I might be judged. That's really what scares us right? The feeling that we will be judged, then outcast. Worrying about what others think of us is a tough one to let go of, so I'll start with that.

• As hard as I try I still find myself getting swept away in worry, and caring far too much about what others think of me. I want people to like me and my art. However I will say that growing this business, and sharing myself and my art in an online space has been one of the best teachers in helping me to let go of this little by little. And I'm so much better than I used to be on this subject. I'm really getting ok, even if I or my art haven't been invited to that party too.
• And to that point, on some days my self worth in any moment is way too attached to the feedback I get or don't get online. 
• My feelings get hurt much less than they used to, but to echo Erin, my feelings get hurt easily and not only do they get hurt, but I usually momentarily want nothing to do with the person who hurt me ever again. 
• There are some people that I will probably never speak to again {even though I have forgiven them}, but I don't call that hurt feelings, I just call it healthy boundaries. 
• I went somewhere slightly over $30,000 in personal credit card debt while trying to become a full time artist. I'm still paying back $26,500 give or take a few dollars depending upon what I invest back into this business. I drive a 25 year old car that I LOVE, so I like to see 'paying my credit card debt back' as my 'car payment' that I don't have. While I'm not a fan of debt, I'll never regret that I took a chance, and bet on me and this business.
• Going into that kind of debt and pulling myself out of it, has taught me to look close and hard at my finances instead of sweeping them under the rug. Something that my very honest self preferred to be slightly dishonest about for some time.
• Losing my dad at such a young age, I probably think far more about death than most. While, the awareness of mortality taught me to really live my life and continues to inspire me to want the best and the most from it, I check if all of my loved ones are still breathing far too frequently.
• With all of my recent successes in this business, I still {errrgh!} compare myself to others and fall short, which not only makes me feel like crap but keeps me from creating instead in that moment. One of the reasons I too have pulled back from being online quite so much. This feeling, much like the caring about what other's think has gotten better over the years - as I mentioned above, continual practice of being in this space has really helped but so has shutting it out all together
• Because I'm a self taught artist, I often wonder if people will realize that maybe I don't really know what I'm doing. {but then I remember that I actually do know what I'm doing}
• I still feel guilty when I am doing something fun vs. something hard. I find myself justifying this far too often and I'm tired of bending over backwards to prove my apprecaiton for the creative life I reached for, went after and have worked hard to build. 
• I hired a cleaning person and a part time assistant this past year, and just this month and these are two of the best things I have ever done.
• I pretty much hate discussing politics and pretty much hate listening to discussions about politics, except for The Daily Show, The Colbert Report {the only shows that make the news palatable for me} and Real Time with Bill Maher 
• I like to live an efficient and organized life. In fact I think given the other option, living this kind of life is better, which also means that I'm becoming really hard {probably too hard} on flaky people.
• I genuinely try to live a thoughtful, beautiful, best version of my life every single day and I no longer want apologize for it, or try to downplay it - simply because this kind of living can make others feel jealous or uncomfortable because where they are in that moment means they just aren't willing to try for themselves. {On a side note, I'm so glad that blogs in particular present such seemingly effortless beauty in the world. It has made me reach for far more. It has made me care for and appreciate my surroundings in a way I never did before.}
• I also have shit days, sad ones filled with dissapointment, frustration, overwhelm, general crankiness, and bitchiness but they turn around quicker, because I choose for them to. {Daily Appreciation people - it works.}
• Fuck is my favorite swear word and when I'm fired-up and/or angry I use it all the time.
• I believe in a positive outlook, always have, always will and I don't want to pretend to be more cynical than I really am just to keep everyone else comfortable again. I've actually had people tell me "you're too positive" - not lately thankfully. 
• I've always said, my art is created mostly from joy and that is what I want to share with you here.

While I'm openly telling you that I'm not sharing everything with you in this space, I also believe so much in the power of healing that happens when sharing honest stories with one another, especially when we overcome hardships. Inevitably I almost always tell my entire story, but sometimes I wait until I'm on the other side, when I feel I have something meaningful to offer. So I hope in some small way this post is that for you. It is cathartic to share honestly of yourself, to whatever degree you feel comfortable. And remember that honesty also includes plenty of pretty. 

LOVE - your inner critic

Deadlines met and a new one ahead. One final push- I am officially reviewing the entire book in the next couple of weeks. It's written. Seriously. It's very exciting.

Also on my way to Seattle for a long weekend. While away, I am going to leave you with an article by Sarah. She's right, I do trust her to write for you so I will leave the intro, explaining the intent behind this post to her. 

What I will say is that the inner critic is something we all have to find a way to cohabitate with, maybe even love? Why push against something that when embraced can transform us, making us grow and become better in ways we hadn't thought possible. The trick is finding your own way to embrace this little fellow and I really enjoyed reading about how Sarah has made peace with her Inner Critic.

The Inner Critic by Sarah Stevenson

When I first approached Marisa about writing a post for her blog, it was as part of an email to let her know that my new website would be going live and that I would love for her to take a look at it. As part of the email, I also asked if she would be interested in me writing a post for her readers called: Don’t Let Your 9 to 5 Steal Your Creativity. I almost deleted this portion of the email as, you see, I did not want Marisa to think that I was pushy or wanted yet another thing from her. My inner critic was loud and clear and it took me some time to figure out how to deal with it regarding writing this piece.

 Consider this idea from Tara Mohr, a friend and life coach, “We are hardwired to have the voice of the inner critic. No matter, how good we are at something, how far along we are on our own creative journeys, or even how famous we are; the inner critic is alive and well inside us all. It is part of our safety, security and survival and is a device that is used by our brains to help keep us in our safety zone.”

 So how as entrepreneurs and creatives do we learn to tackle the inner critic and use the inner critic to help propel our projects, business and creative lives into action?

 First, you must give a name to your own inner critic. By naming the critic it will enable you to disarm it when it arises, helping to separate it from yourself. My critics name is Freddy Two-Tone. He is a creative type-wears tennis shoes, sweater and jeans and has a cape. I don’t know how the cape came about but I think it has something to do with being super man or expecting me to be super woman.

 After naming the critic, you must also get to know it. What does it say to you about doing the work, or leaving your job to start your own creative business? Or launching into that next creative project? Who does the inner critic echo? For me it was a combination of an old boss and other people I had known throughout my creative career that always seemed to want to derail me or at least that is what I thought. In addition, he was the same age as I am now, so I could truly identify with my current situation as a new creative business owner.

Once you name and get to know your inner critic, what do you do then? You need to realize that the critic will always be with you but by being able to recognize the different voices that speak to you, you are able to determine who is in charge. Note here, YOU are always in charge not some crazy critic named Freddy Two-Tone. We need to also, realize that the inner critic is actually not the enemy but in fact someone we need to learn to coexist with and not fight. Freddy is cynical: a glass is half empty kind of guy; not at all how I am as a creative person or how I choose to live my own life. So, you see, the inner critic is not the same as our own best thinking but a voice created to question our own intentions and our own way of doing things.

 Once we realize this and only then are we able to move into a relationship with our inner critic. One way of doing this is with humor. By saying something like: “Hi, inner critic...I hear you...?” or taking it by the hand and walking it out of the room, you are placing yourself back in control of the situation. While writing this piece, I had to literally, remove Freddy from my shoulder, say I can do this, I’ve got it covered and I’m going to the library to write, so please leave me to it! Otherwise, I would still be sitting at home with a blank page in front of me, wondering why I could not fill a page with words.

By doing this we are able to move to the final step of checking out what the inner critic is trying to tell you. What ever scenario you are questioning, don’t argue with the critic.  Instead, ask yourself if what the voice is saying is true, and what you are most worried about in regard to the situation at hand. Learn to live lightheartedly with your critic and over time you will be able to say...”I’ve got this situation covered and I am going to be OK.” For me, it was saying, Marisa trusts me enough to write for her audience, I need to trust myself enough to know that I can write for her audience and what I have to say is funny and lighthearted and a step outside of my comfort zone. But I am willing to do it to share a message and to help others grow in their own creative journeys. So thanks Marisa, for trusting me and my inner critic and for having me share with you here today.

 

Sarah Stevenson is a registered interior designer who worked with some of the top design and architecture firms in Chicago. Like so many artists just starting out, she craved a challenging and collaborative environment -- one where her creative would blossom.

 While she certainly worked on creative projects -- one of which was photographed by the the architectural photographer, Hedrich Blessing -- the long hours took their toll. 

 That’s why Sarah now dedicates her work to helping artists and creative people in all fields carve out space in their day. She helps them find time for their own creative explorations — no matter how many hours a week they work.

 Sarah leads group explorations and founded the Create Explore Discover Art Retreat, an annual getaway that brings together women for creative workshops, fresh, local food and nature walks in the Lake Tahoe area. {note from Marisa - I really loved my time at this retreat, held for the first time last year. I highly recommend adding it to your 'retreats to attend' list. Sarah's opening registration June 1st!}

 You can find more about her work at www.sarahgstevenson.com

thank you Sarah for sharing this with us.

'Love' the original is available here

what lens are you choosing to view your world through?

 

I started this year like many of us with resolutions - resolutions for what? resolutions that when achieved will lead to more happiness. Right? Because everything we want and hope to accomplish is because we think it will make us happier?

The difference is this year, I promised to stick with my resolutions longer than just New Year's day {and maybe the day after}.  To be honest, I backed myself far enough into a corner on this one, that I kind of had to. I started 2012 intent on moving past habits, particularly patterns of thought, that even with the apperances of progression, especially over the last 8 years, were still trapping me in the same place. 

Four months later, I can honestly say I've never felt happier. Seriously guys, for someone who is not so much a 'morning person' ~ I am waking up some days with so much enthusiasm, I'm not entirely sure Sean recognizes me. And believe me, when I'm ready, I will have a lot to share on this. Until then, one of my dear friends who also committed to this new years 'experiement' with me passed along the link to this video. I think Shawn's perspective in this TED talk refers exactly to what I have been working towards. The part where he references that happiness is based upon the lens you choose to view your world through - that's it, that's the beginning. And then there's more, a lot more...